I’ve been having this blogspot for over six months now and I only write occasionally for the fear of… well… myself. I almost always seem to have a really good excuse for not sitting down and typing, whether off or online. This is where Tata’s words come in: ‘Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.’ I had a friend who told me I’m afraid of success, and I thought she was just saying.
A writer writes, Xolani. Period! She delivers these words with an agitated tone that’s accompanied by a beseeching pretty face. ‘I know, I know’ I respond. Her beautiful hazel eyes stared at me with the unspoken follow up question (then what are you waiting for?). To avoid her pretty (pun intended) upset face, I looked away and claimed I’ll make a plan about my writing… soon. Looking back at that day right now I can tell that I gave her a wrong answer. She just left the door. ‘Leave me with my thoughts’ she says. Indeed she left me with my thoughts for well over five years now. Saying I wonder what happened to her would be an understatement. I’m scared to even try and get hold of her. But I digress. I should dedicate a blog to the story of a girl who ran away…
Run away girl or not, her words ring my mind at this hour for I’m realising the repeat of history. I am, once again, the writer that’s not writing. It has been three months since I took a peek at my romantic comedy (Lerato Lerato) that’s been under construction for close to two years. Hey, don’t you judge me! It took Tarantino ten years to write his latest success: Inglorious Basterds… Ok, that’s not a good excuse, since he was already successful in those ten years. Anyway, the last time I even typed words on that ‘amazing story’ of mine was early January. I remember the ideas were boiling in my mind at the time. I couldn’t go a day without looking and adding something to the progression of the story. Now all I do is open it and listen to my mind giving me yet another reason to procrastinate. And I’m quite gullible when it comes to those. They always make sense. I guess what I’m really looking for is a straight mind that can tell me I can finish this romantic comedy. If that mind comes from a pretty hazel-eyed girlfriend I think I’ll listen this time.
My sweat equity sitcom, Amagwinya, is happening at a much slower pace. When we were ‘investing our sweat’ there was more people, ideas, motivation, and hope for riches. At this hour I have no idea who’s where and how is it going, except for a handful. But then again that’s the life of the creatives. You only see us when you really need us. Amagwinya comes with an interesting background that has a lot to do with DogTail Inc (checkout dogtail.co.za). DogTail is a great idea by the creatives trying to break into the business world, but eish truth be told, it’s just not happening. I’m a man of faith and abundant optimist, but even I am beginning to worry about this sweat equity journey. If anything it’s helping me to continue practising the craft of writing, though not as frequent as I’d like it to be.
I think what DogTail really need is a business mind that can shape things up and show us the direction. I say this because DogTail feels like a house filled with creativity and inspiration, just missing the business mind. But hey, I’m just a scriptwriter, man. I shouldn’t be making this noise. I should be writing, man… Yes, about that. Amagwinya has two complete episodes, one of which is a pilot for show. We are currently writing the third episode and it’s coming quite alright and pretty slow. We have complete loglines for the rest of the season (13 episodes). We could be finished with half of the season by now, but we all seem to have other hustles to take our time and put the “sweat equity” on the less important lists. This is one of the reasons I believe I’m not practising my wordsmith craft as much as I should. I’m a writer that needs to do more writing.
She used to remind me that practice makes perfect. I remember her. At one point, to my surprise, she even used Sean Carter’s (Jay-Z) words just to prick my brain and see her point of view. She was right. I should just write, even if it’s a stupid blog about how stressful it is to be a scriptwriter in South Africa. At least I’m writing. Right?
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